Preventing Fatalities

Elevator shaft of Washington, D.C., office building
Thursday, August 21, 2008:

It's always good to know that the "Fatality Prevention Process" team is on top of any mechanical malfunctions that may plague your office elevator. I found it particularly comforting that the "foreman" on this project was seated comfortably, just outside of harm's way, sending text messages from his cell phone. I'm sure his version of the story will be that he was "overseeing" the "process" and carefully "spotting" his colleague, while "submitting important job-related data" for his "supervisor's quality assurance summary." Either way, I'm taking the stairs.